You want your kid to become confident and strong?

You want your kid to become confident and strong?
if the answer is yes then keep on reading...

strength and confidence these qualities are achieved through independence
the more you help your child to become independent in his daily life the more confident and strong personality he will form.
being dependent or independent is a personality trait....for example in most Asian countries men are dependant on others (mostly women) for their very basic needs like food, laundry, ironing clothes etc (the list is very long ) and women are dependent on men financially and socially (not allowed or not confident enough to travel alone) why??? Because they are being trained that way...

Training is very important!

Now the question is what shall we do to make a child become independent as early as possible???
A child who is barely out of his diapers and independence seems like two opposite words far away from each other but in fact they are not.
According to Dr. Maria Montessori's discovery of the child a child is born with a restless urge to become independent this independence drives kids crazy and results in sensitive periods of development!
Coming back to the topic how to make kids independent? and making sure that they don't create a mess if they are allowed to move around freely... we can do that by eliminating few common mistakes that we make  right from beginning...
                                      

when a family is blessed with a baby no doubt the whole family and especially new parents are overwhelmed with joy and happiness... we see a child as a small vulnerable being and become very very protective about the baby, there is nothing wrong about being protective about your baby problem occurs when we continue the same behavior even when the baby is grown up and learning new things/tasks etc  here let me tell you one thing a child's life isn't that easy as it looks  he literally battles to learn to crawl, talk, walk his brain is so full of things ideas and natural urges that drive him crazy and restless please respect his efforts and help him achieve what he his craving for, don't spoil his efforts by imposing your will on him. i know its not easy at all im a mother myself, i know its not as easy as it sounds but you must have heard no pains no gains.

     we see a child having difficulty in reaching a toy or he is making crying faces or noise while trying to reach his toy any elder would immediately get up and hand the toy to the child (we just don't let the child make an effort !) I'm not saying that you let your child cry for hours and hours just asking you to let him try! 
 We parents normally are concerned about teaching moral values to their child and forget that there are other important aspects as well we forget to teach children how to react when get hurt! geting hurt or sick or taking injection/ medicine is very common in a child's life, whenever a child hurts himself don't panic or faint in front of them instead compose your self and tell them its going to be okay these little words of encouragement means allot to them.
                           

love and care doesn't always mean that we have all the right to spoil the child... love is preparing the child for life's challenges making him/her strong enough to survive ups and downs of life. be very clear about one thing your child will taste every flavor of life sweet ones and bitter ones too no matter how hard we try we can not change this good and bad experiences are part of every humans life but one thing that we can do to make their life easy is to prepare them for life's  challenges by making them strong. How we do that?? we can train them right from the beginning... like if a child trying to reach something or want to catch an object let him/her make an effort and grab the desired object you'll observe a shine in the eyes indicating self confidence (offer help only when needed don't offer unwanted or unnecessary help!)
                                               

  

When a child achieves something it adds up to his self esteem the sense of accomplishment gives confidence and we all need our kids to be confident.



(Feel free to comment about the post did you find it helpful or not? Or if you have any questions all comments are welcome your feedback means a lot)

Montessori sensitive periods in child development

once again sorry for delay as i study, study and study just to make sure that every info that i put in front of you is authentic! and beneficial for you parents out there....

well if you've been following my blog u must have learned that 0 to 6 years of age is the time when a child develops his basic nature !

within Maria Montessori’s framework due to her studies with children, she has observed the occurrence of sensitive periods. In other pedagogies it can get called developmental milestones or windows of opportunities. It is those periods in the child’s life when a certain ability manifests itself strongly. For example every child knows how to suck milk to satisfy his hunger and survive. He knows how to cry in order to communicate needs to the mother. He moves his limbs alot to strenghten his muscles. he begins to put hands in his mouth when he is about six months of age. he does so because a strange sensation begins in his mouth. this urge to put things in the mouth is natural and has a purpose.... the purpose of preparing and developing gums to bear teeth. similarly child crawls and tries to walk without anyone teaching him, no matter how many times he falls off, out of a strong inner urge. in other words, nature has its own way to make children reach maximum development. During these periods the child has an especially strong sensitivity towards a particular piece of knowledge or skill. The sensitivity lasts for a certain period and does not reoccur ever! (once a period is passed there is no way to teach children certain skill to his maximum potential)

can we say, that the child will have difficulty bearing teeth or will not proper healthy teeth if we just dont let him put anything in the mouth. Or the child will not achieve proper balance or will have difficulty walking for the rest of his life if we just tie him up for a few months when the urge to walk is on him. The answer is yes, there are examples when a child had an accident just when he was about to walk. the legs were plastered and the  child could not practice walking  when the urge was there and later on in life he had trouble walking.           Simply it is a period of time in which the child concentrates mainly on one aspect of his environment and excludes everything else. This is when we see a child repeatedly does an activity with passion and conviction per se, and it seems like nothing can deter them to accomplishing that task until it is satisfied. It is a time of intense concentration and mental activity on developing a particular skill at that particular time, age / phase in growth. It is driven unconsciously by an inner force that the best way an adult can support this passion is to prepare the environment and encourage this special time of learning.

This can also be used as basic guidelines as to when a child is ready to learn and when to introduce certain items to children. This can also be determined by observing the child for when they are focused on a certain type of work and follow the child’s interest.

How did Dr. Maria Montessori a physician who was born before the twentieth century began and died in the middle of it, developed an educatinal approach that prepares young people for the 21st century? lets find out

hey there my lovely Friends I'm so sorry for the delay in my blog post , i was really caught up. anyways I'm back with my new post not exactly new as i have posted it earlier but then something went wrong and my post got deleted:( but the good news is i have re composed it for you my lovely friends... so lets get started....
   before we get started i would like to share something very important with you
 we all have problems in life and did u ever noticed most of our problems are results of problematic experiences of childhood...
why ??? let me explain...u must have heard famous quote "Nature never change" this nature is developed during the first 6 years of age! every human being's basic nature develops during first 6 years of age! if we are scared of something during this phase we will be scared of it in future too or vice versa (this is the time when u have to work really hard with your child but in a right manner.)
       and i found Montessori method really helpfull i will share with u later first Let me introduce you to Dr. Maria Montessori
Dr. Maria Montessori was an MBBS and she studied psychology too. she worked with special children there she have seen them being treated like trash or animals it was hard for her to see children like this (mentally or physically challenged though)
she developed materials for them and engaged them in activities while using those specially developed materials by Dr. Montessori herself. She observed them working with those materials in a particular environment ( environment is really important). after a year or so those special children showed success in education which was a miracle at that time.
after the success of special children (with limited I.Q level). She was concerned if special children can show success, what kept normal kids back in education???
this was the question which led her to develop an educational system for children.
many people ask  How did Dr. Maria Montessori a physician who was born before the twentieth century began and died in the middle of it, developed an educational approach that prepares young people for the 21st century?
the answer is really simple she OBSERVED children carefully and discovered their true nature!
every child is born with same natural needs no matter in which date or place of the world he or she is born, the natural needs of a child are universal that is why Montessori education is use full for children of present time too.
a child is born with an absorbent mind which is unconscious till 2.6 years after 2.6 brain is still absorbent but conscious. children are born with a strong urge to explore their environment and  learn to live independantly. its that urge, curiosity that makes them so active and restless and if they dont find appropriate environment they become unhappy, frustrated and cause more trouble.
the phase from birth till 6years is very important it is full of  a series of  "SENSITIVE PERIODS"

these periods overlap eachother. many educationists say that a child's learning ability during this time is 100 times more than a fully grown adult! and children can learn any thing (from education to manners, morals etc) to their full potential and if these periods are overlooked u can never teach children any thing to 100 percent full potential they may learn things but as i have said earlier not to their full potential.
in my next post i will try to explain more about sensitive periods and how we parents shuold behave and what are the most common mistakes we parents make.....

when i was expecting my first child i was so full of feelings coping with health issues, excited, scared, emotional and impatient constantly thinking how my child will look like? sometimes i picture him in my mind..... in short my mind and heart was crowded with too many feelings... i wanted to know what was going on in my body and i wanted to know about my child too but
i did not had internet access at that time so my sources of knowledge were t.v and my gynecologist (who was not very friendly :( ). well t.v gave me lot of information along with realization that a mother must be well equipped with knowledge about child,s health and education.
i literally started thinking that i must read books regarding child psychology ....
luckily during that time my very close relative gave me her books (she was doing Montessori course and those were her course books) she recommended me to take a look at them by saying this is very different.
well i started reading those books after finishing one book i curiously reached for the second one and so on.
yes i found it very different and it has changed my entire perception about infants.
after my son was born i even implemented many exercises and concepts on him and witnessed instant results...
i will share Montessori concepts with u step by step along with different educationists and psychiatrists too. and before that i will introduce you to Montessori to let know her works authenticity by sharing few things from her life and works and how she has formed this educational system for kids.

part 2 of previous post

Feeling Of Love

A child loves his mother and trust her blindly that she will never let anything harm him.

do you know how it feels when u fell in love for the very first time???
( you guys must be thinking i am  talking about irrelevant stuff but believe me its not irrelevant)
anyways getting back to my question..... feeling of love everyone has different experience but some feelings related to love are universal
like when u fell in love u feel like flying in the air, every thing seems perfect and beautiful when you are with your loved one. and u get depressed, sad when you don't get to meet, see or talk to your love.... the list is never ending.Now let me tell you why i was talking about feeling of love...
do you guys know an infant goes through same feelings of love??
surprising but 100% true (in my previous post conclusions revealed child's special behavior for mother its because of love that he feels for the mom)
it is proven that a child fell in love with his/her mother that is why he cries when she gets away (most moms complain that baby don't let them do any work, starts crying when guests arrive or give tough time whenever taken outside the home)
a child's life revolves around the mother. in other words his mother is  the universe to him (literally).He sees guests, strangers as intruders and feels insecure in their presence. its the immense love that leads him creating problems for mother.
i know after knowing this fact you'll love your babies even more.in my upcoming posts i will talk more about child's psychological, physical, and emotional needs which will further lead to right way of training the child.

we get mad when our child don't meet our expectations its fair enough for the child to react in same way when we don't meet his.

  we need to know what a child expects from us...
i'll share an amazing fact with all you lovely ladies today.
once i was reading a book found it really amazing and noted few things in my diary (unfortunately i didn't noted its author and publication details).
a group of psychologists studied two separate groups of new born
they observed these new born babies day and night....
group one
was attended by their mothers. dressed, cleaned and breast fed by mom's (mostly and if not breast fed, mom's would hold their babies in lap while feeding with milk bottles).
the second group was attended by nurses fed with bottles while lying in their beds, cots.
after observation and study conclusions were amazingly unbelievable....

general observations

1st groups (infants were attended by their mothers) they were unfriendly and uncomfortable in presence of strangers or new faces. and were seen smiling in a special way for their mothers only , and they also smiled for those faces that they see with mother (father, grand parents etc.) behavior of infants in presence of mother was overall special. Further more a research shown that people who are attended by moms like group one have low divorce rate, loyal in relationships, good human beings and softhearted.

2^nd group (attended by nurses) they smiled for every one and were friendly to all. Further more a research shown that people who are attended by nurses like group two have High divorce rate, Mostly failure or difficulty in relations.

Conclusion

A child recognizes his mother even before birth. Baby records mothers behavior while resting in womb (that is why mothers are told to stay happy during that time). And when he is born mothers touch, hugging and feeding gives him a concept of love, trust, friendship and care….
(to be continued)....

how to train  your child???

When I was a child I remember mothers at that time were concerned about child’s health an education but not frantically depressed, suppressed by pressures like today’s mothers. Today we face too many challenges regarding upbringing, training, educating the child and it sometimes leads mother and child both to disaster!
gone are the days when beating up was a culture to control your kids… today’s kids are more open to reasoning and logical discussions and they simply refuse to stand beatings and misbehaviors. Parents especially mothers have to be well equipped with the knowledge that is helpful in training a child. I have seen mothers panic and depressed when child’s not eating, (I used to do the same btw),
depressed when child’s not getting good grades,
depressed when he is misbehaving, let me tell you one thing depression is not going to take you any where….(not asking you to ignore misbehavior, poor grades or health issues just calm down relax, take a deep breath and change your attitude to cope with these issues)
 because
depressed mother= unhappy child
I know you guys must be thinking how can we keep calm when child is creating fuss all over misbehaving in presence of guests (embarrassing I knowJ).
Now tell me one thing do you read instructional manual when u buy something like camera, mobile anything that comes with manual????
Now ask yourself why do you read it???

Obviously to use the product better…. Similarly humans, kids deserved to be studied, observed before we start expecting from them to behave according to our will, expectations.
You need to know physical, emotional, mental states and needs of a child from the very beginning (I learned all these by studying various educationists and psychologists)